You were born on Friday the 13th. We all know how the story goes, one very short first labor and one push and out you came. You were quiet after your initial first scream. You were almost pensive and if you could have your mouth hanging open in true Payton thinking form, I know you would've. I was young and entering motherhood not knowing a thing about it. I regarded you in an almost panic, thinking what have I done? I am now responsible for this little baby. You were so quiet and sweet. As we cuddled in my hospital bed all my fears and anxiety left me, and I knew I could do it. The nurses propped pillows up around us so we could take a nap together. You were my biggest learning experience, and I'm still learning. I had to grow up in that moment and realize how selfish of a person I was / am. Your every cry would send me into a panic. I didn't want anything to happen to you. We had many ER visits that first year and you had many 'issues'. From Eczema to colds, we had it all.
Yet, we made it through and as you grew into toddlerhood, you amazed us with your quick mind. Nothing got past you. You were always more active than the other kids. They would sit on the little plastic picnic table and you would climb it, stand on it and jump off with all the gusto and theatrics a toddler could possibly have. I was given looks from other moms that at first glance said, 'My he's active', but really underneath said, 'My child would never do that'. But you know what, I would much rather have a rough and tumble boy than a sissy. And the Lord couldn't have given me more of a BOY than I have. Active in every sense of the word. Always out to prove me and Daddy wrong. Like when you argued with Daddy that you could ride a bike without training wheels at 4 1/2. Daddy said fine and took them off for you. He tried to hold onto your bike and you yelled, "Let go Daddy! I can do it!". So daddy did and you took off! Not falling at all. Or you bringing your reading homework home and telling me you could read it. I didn't believe you and argued with you until you opened it up and started reading it to me. I love that in you.
Now you are 6 and in school. Causing drama between the 1st grade girls, all in love with a Kindergartener. Yet your oblivious! Your giggle, your sense of humor, the way you love your sisters, even how you can frustrate me, makes my heart sing with joy. I'm sorry for all the mistakes I've made along the way. I know these days are quickly fleeting, and I am going to open my eyes one day and you will have your own life. As I dropped you off at school today and watched you walk in by yourself without looking back at me. I realized how much you've grown and it makes me sad to know that I will never get those days back. Yet we have so much to look forward to. I love you Pay Pay.
You were born on Friday the 13th. We all know how the story goes, one very short first labor and one push and out you came. You were quiet after your initial first scream. You were almost pensive and if you could have your mouth hanging open in true Payton thinking form, I know you would've. I was young and entering motherhood not knowing a thing about it. I regarded you in an almost panic, thinking what have I done? I am now responsible for this little baby. You were so quiet and sweet. As we cuddled in my hospital bed all my fears and anxiety left me, and I knew I could do it. The nurses propped pillows up around us so we could take a nap together. You were my biggest learning experience, and I'm still learning. I had to grow up in that moment and realize how selfish of a person I was / am. Your every cry would send me into a panic. I didn't want anything to happen to you. We had many ER visits that first year and you had many 'issues'. From Eczema to colds, we had it all.
Yet, we made it through and as you grew into toddlerhood, you amazed us with your quick mind. Nothing got past you. You were always more active than the other kids. They would sit on the little plastic picnic table and you would climb it, stand on it and jump off with all the gusto and theatrics a toddler could possibly have. I was given looks from other moms that at first glance said, 'My he's active', but really underneath said, 'My child would never do that'. But you know what, I would much rather have a rough and tumble boy than a sissy. And the Lord couldn't have given me more of a BOY than I have. Active in every sense of the word. Always out to prove me and Daddy wrong. Like when you argued with Daddy that you could ride a bike without training wheels at 4 1/2. Daddy said fine and took them off for you. He tried to hold onto your bike and you yelled, "Let go Daddy! I can do it!". So daddy did and you took off! Not falling at all. Or you bringing your reading homework home and telling me you could read it. I didn't believe you and argued with you until you opened it up and started reading it to me. I love that in you.
Now you are 6 and in school. Causing drama between the 1st grade girls, all in love with a Kindergartener. Yet your oblivious! Your giggle, your sense of humor, the way you love your sisters, even how you can frustrate me, makes my heart sing with joy. I'm sorry for all the mistakes I've made along the way. I know these days are quickly fleeting, and I am going to open my eyes one day and you will have your own life. As I dropped you off at school today and watched you walk in by yourself without looking back at me. I realized how much you've grown and it makes me sad to know that I will never get those days back. Yet we have so much to look forward to. I love you Pay Pay.
2 comments:
This is the sweetest entry I have ever read. It makes me cry!! You are such a wonderful mommy!!! I agree with you that these days will be over before we know it.
I love that picture of him in a Joey Harrington jersey on his little tiny body.
There's just something about boys.
Jill
Post a Comment